TFYT: Tools for your toolbox that assist you in life
Program: Complete lessons and exercise guides
Mindset: Simple philosophies to live life by
Workshop: Group exercises
Core Foundational Element:


How Do You Realize if What You Want is Good for You?

  • Do you know what you want?
  • Do you know if it is good for you?
  • Do you know how you feel about it?
  • Do you respect your feelings?
  • Do you challenge your feelings?
  • Do you trust yourself?
  • Do you know what is required of you to get what you want?
  • Do you know that it entails doing something you don’t want to do before you can get what you want? THIS IS THE KEY!!!
  • Do you understand the challenge you are faced with is the doorway to getting what you want?
  • Do you look at the situation from multiple perspectives?
  • Do you consider how your decision impacts others?
  • Are you aware enough to anticipate when you start taking action towards your desire if it is twisting up because of something you didn’t previously consider?


  • Are you willing to reevaluate your situation to include the impact that is taking place?
  • Do you understand that continuing to move towards something that brings other challenges to you, can transform what you originally thought you wanted into something you no longer want?
  • Do you understand that continuing to move towards something you want, ignoring the other challenges, could mean you lose something you already have in order to get something new?
  • Have you weighed the consequences of your actions against the potential losses you will incur?
  • What are you willing to give up to have this new desire?
  • What might you actually lose that you hadn’t considered losing in your original plan?
  • Are you sure you are heading in the right direction or are you in denial of the reality of pitfalls?


Do you have the courage to look carefully at what you think you want, what you have to do to get it, what you will not be able to do, in order to reach your desires, who will be impacted in what way and what the outcome will most likely be? This requires you to prioritize your desires and see if the new desire fits into your life scheme, as a good fit. TFYT – if you do this as a mind exercise, I call it pre-cognitive thinking, and think it through, taking the time you need to evaluate multiple perspectives, BEFORE you begin to act, you will have an opportunity to identify challenges, obstacles and pitfalls before you would actually, encounter them. Knowledge is Power.

If it does feel like a good fit, you will feel good or satisified.
If it doesn’t feel like a good fit, you will feel bad or stressed.

Here is the crux of the decision:

  • What do you want to feel?
  • Are you willing to take a chance and risk the unexpected results?
  • Are you aware enough to play out the situation in your minds eye to see where it may actually go, so you can be more prepared for the experiences you will encounter?
  • Are you willing to do something you want to do now, in order to get what you want?
  • Are you willing to do something you don’t want to do now, in order to have something you ultimately want?
  • Are you able to see how your decision fits into the bigger picture?
  • Are you able to see where you will end up in the bigger picture?
  • Are you able to identify who you want to be known for?
  • Are you able to identify the characteristics and integrity levels are required of you, in order for you TO walk this way?
  • Are you able to control yourself enough to be able to restrict yourself physically, from doing things that go against your ultimate goal but feel good in the moment?



This a moral conflict you will find yourself facing throughout your life. It is these crossroads that lead you down the path you choose. If you can identify where you want to go, you can begin heading in that direction. Until then, you are turning around in circles with all the choices and what if’s, that you don’t actually make a move.

Choose the characteristics and integrity levels that adhere to the moral code your belief system lives by, and use these guidelines as your boundaries and perspectives when you are challenged to make a difficult decision. You will find the answer to your question – like it or not.


Understand that because you believe you have a right to do something doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. If you walk in a mindset to do what is right, not what you think you have a right to do, you will grow in character realizing that what is right for someone else doesn’t mean it is right for you. Be your best self. Honor yourself. Respect yourself. And give the same to others – that is how one receives – when someone else gives – it is a cycle – if you break the chain, you broke the chain. Through this process, a realization that because you respect yourself, doesn’t mean others will respect you. That is where lines are drawn. Boundary Work is essential and critical at these points on the path.

Decide who and what type of person you are going to represent, with the characteristics and personality that you choose, and see how you feel as you go through an experience.



When the experience is over, you have solidified it’s existence (vibrational frequencies of the interaction, made the experience, tangible) and have created an opportunity for it to be reflected upon. The memories you make are yours forever. The memories of the interactions and experience as a whole, is perpetuated in the memories of those effected by the influence of the experience, even if they didn’t experience it themselves.

If so, you can begin to walk in a mindset that allows you to explore your desires, consider what needs to be done in order to reach it, including how others will be impacted by the result of your actions, what challenges you will face and if the outcome will actually be what you want.

Do you realize that you are the only one who will be responsible for the decisions, actions and outcomes of pursuing your desires? There are no double standards here. We are each responsible for the actions we take, even if they don’t turn out the way we originally intended.

Preparedness for establishing a good foundation to build your dreams on starts with Character, Integrity, Responsibility and Accountability.


How do you realize if what you want is good for you?


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