TFYT
Tool: Thrive or Survive?
When To Use It: When examining how you are living your life. When you want to see the bigger picture and where you are fitting into it. To evaluate if you are actually thriving in your life or if you are just surviving it.
Why Use It: Often times, we think a situation is much worse, or much better, than it actually is. A Pro/Con List is instrumental is categorizing what you think is a Pro and what you think is a Con. It can offer you a physical view of what you are thinking instead of the thoughts just floating around in your head with all the other thoughts from all the other perspectives. It assists you in relating to what you are thinking you are living right now and offers you different perspectives to see it from. One mans trash is another mans treasure – what is a Pro to one person may be a Con to another – don’t compare yourself to anyone else – do what is right for you – Walk Your Walk!
How To Use It: It starts with knowing yourself and what you want. If you don’t, and most people don’t, then you will have to weigh the pros and cons of the situation for your overall well being. To do this, you must be able to identify both the good and the bad that will come to you depending on your choices. More good in your life suggests you are thriving and life is abundant, more bad in your life suggests you are surviving and just trying to make ends meet somewhere to get a better handle on life. Which one are you? Can you evaluate weather you are happy or sad? Do you know if you like what you are feeling or if you are “dealing” with it for now until something better comes along? Are you in an abusive and/or debilitating situation and are just holding on by your fingertips and feel there is no where to go? Or do you feel like everything is just falling into place and you are on top of the world? What do you think of the situation you are in? What do others think of the situation you are in? Are you alone? Do you have a support system? Do you feel safe? When you ask yourself questions like these, you prompt a part of your brain to elicit feelings and emotions.
When you begin to honestly identify what these feelings and emotions are, you will gain clarity on what it is that you actually want and what is holding you back (that is Limited Belief Recognition but more on that in another TFYT), then you can better chose between what you are currently living and thinking and what you would actually like to be living and thinking. If you are currently surviving and struggling to be happy, then it may be time for you to take a hard look at how you are currently living your life, take a chance on doing it differently and see if you end up closer to happy than you were. If you do not find the courage, confidence and good company to assist you, you will continue to feel unhappy and guilt and shame may show up as well. Neither of these emotions positively serve you. They will debilitate you and keep you in a state of fear. They will diminish your ability to “do it differently” and keep you where you are. It requires clear focus and a plan to shift. If you believe you deserve to be happy, you will be motivated to do what it takes to go from thriving to surviving. Know you are loved, loveable and worthy.
Your Benefit: When you are on the other side of the situation, after you have made the hard choices and gone through the adjustment period in order to achieve more than you had before and feel better about yourself, your self-esteem and self-respect will increase, your confidence in getting through difficult situations will increase and you will see a brighter side of life. Remember though, unless you decide to believe you deserve more than you have, you will not go for it. But be careful what you go for, it could be something more than you expected.