TFYT: Tools for your toolbox that assist you in life
Program: Complete lessons and exercise guides
Mindset: Simple philosophies to live life by
Workshop: Group exercises
Core Foundational Element:


Action Ability

Action Ability is the ability to act the way you want to act.

Obviously we can act any way we want. We can be kind or not, happy or not, loving or not, honorable or not, respectful or not, loyal or not, decent or not, you get the picture.

How you treat someone in this moment directly impacts how they will feel about you in the next moment. Satisfying a need in this moment may bring you to a good place when it’s over, but if you look a little farther ahead and include the other aspects of your life in the big picture, you may find that this immediate indulgence has eliminated your opportunity to achieve your ultimate desire because it was in direct conflict.

How you treat someone in this moment directly impacts how they will feel about you in the next moment.

Carrie Hadeed

If you are not aware of how your immediate behavior will effect your ultimate desire you may make choices that make it harder to achieve, or you could actually lose your opportunity to achieve, your ultimate desire by default for having indulged in your immediate behavior. Most people don’t realize this until it hits a critical point – that’s when everything changes. It is at this point that you realize you are to late and you ruined that opportunity, you went to far, you lacked self control and now the consequences are upon you. If you don’t care that you lost what you lost, you feel good, but if you cared about what you lost, you would feel bad – learn from it , correct it and don’t do it that way again, and you may find that you are happier than you thought you could be.

There is no going back. What’s done is and what is, is. You can’t change the past but you can learn and grow from it. You can recognize what your role in the situation was and correct it next time – the tricky part is if you can maintain that correction as a lifestyle habit.

Thinking something is going to be very difficult but wanting to achieve it more than you believe you can’t, allows you to put forth the determination, energy and skills necessary to achieve that ultimate desire.

That clear focus on what you are striving for and an adamant resolve to dismiss, ignore, deny, overpower or let go whatever will stop you from achieving it, is what allows you to achieve what you set out to accomplish.

Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it, and that may leave you in a place that no longer affords you an opportunity to reach your original ultimate desire. That original dream you had that things were going to be a certain way and you would be happy. Your ultimate desire is that which is most important to you in the big picture, your life partners and family, friends and all others you interact with. This is your legacy. This is who and what you will be known for. The choices you make now are what your memories in the future will be. They are the reflections you will have to remind you of how you spent your energy and time and who you spent it with. Where you were, what you were doing and who you were doing it with. In the end, this is who you will be known for.

A real key and advanced TFYT is to be able to see yourself in the light you want to ultimately be known for and act as if you are walking in that direction by making choices that most efficiently get you there: i.e. Being It.

There are shortcuts and there are pitfalls. Both require diligent attention to be most efficient. Efficiency is important because when you reach this goal, you will feel all the emotions you desire to feel by having acted consciously to decide what choices you were going to make and then acting according to those choices and taking the steps necessary to actually get you there. Until you are there, you have not reached your ultimate desire. The journey is yours.

If you lose the opportunity to achieve your ultimate desire you will have to change and desire something you can have or you will be stuck in a loop of thinking you can have something that you actually can’t. Your hopefulness and optimism for the potential for a different outcome creates a probability not in your favor. This mindset of living for the potential of what someone is capable of rather than in the mindset of what they are actually projecting to you is what makes you unhappy. Choose to be happy and find a new desire – there is no going back, only forward.

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