TFYT: Tools for your toolbox that assist you in life
Program: Complete lessons and exercise guides
Mindset: Simple philosophies to live life by
Workshop: Group exercises
Core Foundational Element:


Pro / Con List

What is a Pro/Con List?

It’s a list of Assets and Liabilities. It’s a list to see if one side overtakes the other or if it is balanced and how you feel about it. It is an identifier to determine perspective. What perspective you view a situation from impacts the perspective you will view the results from.

A Pro/Con List is a physical written list of standards you set up for what you believe is acceptable and unacceptable in a situation with someone or something.

When Courage and Gratitude join in, you find Your Power and become aware of exceeding that which was limiting you. You face your fear.

Carrie Hadeed

The purpose of it is to identify and become aware of what your personal standards are regarding your choices. There are no right or wrong lists. There are no better or worse lists. There are no two lists exactly the same. Trust your intuition and have the courage to be honest – it may not seem important in deciding about a car, but it may be significantly more important when you begin creating and evaluating lists about the relationships in your life. Then, it will make a significant difference.

A Pro/Con List’s primary benefit is to physically see on paper the Pro’s and Con’s you identify with in this moment, in regards to anything – you can make a list to decide if a car is a good idea or not with all the expenses – Cons or Liabilities – and the availability of Uber – Pro or Asset – and you can also use it to create a list to evaluate if your personal relationships are toxic or healthy or if you should quit your job and move away or stay feeling stuck or you can use it to decide if you should buy your Amazon cart or if you should save for your car insurance.

A Pro/Con List is a visual aid to utilize your sensibilities and your senses in an unfamiliar way to elicit new neural activity with the intention of strengthening and clarifying your resolve to make a decision based on what you physically see on the paper and feel in your body, mind and spirit. You know if that car is the one!! And when you run down all the reasons the car is good for you and all the reasons the car is not – seeing it is confirmation and validation. It acts as a second opinion or a full on disagreement depending on your perspective.

There are no right or wrong lists. There are no better or worse lists.

A Pro/Con List can identify what you do and don’t want, in a relationship or in a car, in a move, or in any decision that requires consideration (consideration of how it will effect other aspects of your life, as they do exist even if you have no interest in them.) Even if you don’t know what you do want, you know what you don’t want. Start there. Identify what you do not want in the scope of making choices (the Con side) and from there you can begin to figure out the opposite of it and work through the options to see what feels right to you, and then identify it on the Pro side. I call this Spectrum Work and it works in degrees and intensities – find your sweet spot and that is what you want. CAVEAT: Careful what you wish for, you just may get it.

Why do this? To see what perspective you are creating your list from. To identify what aspect of your personality is speaking though your list and what issues are coming up that caused you to have to consider evaluating this subject in the first place.

Once you know where your head is and what your intentions are, when you read the list from that point of view, you will clarify your “ why” and be able to understand the reason for the actual words that were chosen to be put on that page – there are many, many words that could have been chosen, be aware that these particular words are the ones you actually choose to write down – that is significant – it is your subconscious mind directing the words to communicate with your physical sight to assist you in answering your question – the reason for the Pro/Con List in the first place. Neural pathway strengthening going on here – good stuff. TFYT

This evaluation can help you asses your personal values and offerings and clearly evaluate the status of the relationship or decision.

When you become aware of what your own standards are, you will begin to see why you are in the relationships you are in – even if you say you want something different.

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